Alana is a week old today... actually at the time I write this she is one week and 40minutes old to be exact. It's been a great week. She has me in awe most of the time. Each coo and grunt she makes has me wrapped more and more around her finger. At this point she isn't doing much other than exsisting... eating, pooping, and sleeping but she is darn cute while she does it. She is just too precious for words. It's also hard for me to express in words how lucky I feel to have her. I have my boys and they are wonderful, smart, funny, and I would have felt lucky just to have them but I cannot ignore the part of me that sensed I was missing something wonderful by not having a daughter. It crossed my mind each time I went to the nail salon and saw mothers and their daughters, young and old, sharing girl time. Each time I walked pass racks of clothes in a store I never got excited over boy clothes but was drawn to the girl clothes and wished I had someone to buy pink for.
I know someday she will hate me... or at least think she does. But I look forward to those days just like I look forward to Barbie shoes mixed with Legos and buying Prom dresses. As with my boys I cannot wait to see who she grows to become.
Our family is complete now. No more babies for us. There is a saddness there knowing I'll never carry a baby inside me again... although god knows a week ago I never thought I'd think that! There is a relief that she is so tiny because I feel like I can hold on to this new born for a bit longer than normal because of it. I'll never feel that overwhelming rush of love one feels the second your baby is born and thrust upon your chest still sticky from your womb. It's memories now and I know a phase in my life has passed and there are still memories to be made. For now, I'll take my sleepless nights and not only see them as sleep depriving and sometimes hard but also as a gift of quiet moments that are shared only by us.
Well, that's enough of my emotional rambling for one day. Blame it on the hormones or perhaps the giddy little girl inside me who feels like she got her best gift from Santa.
Ohhh... she pooped! Gotta run!
3 comments:
A very pretty girl you have!
Our new baby is beautiful. I think she is smiling and waving in that photo; she must be happy to be here.
Coming from one who is at last swimming in prom dresses, elevated car insurance, swim meets, cell phones and clouds of bath and body works pray...enjoy your mommy-daughter time, it goes far to quickly. And she won't hate you...for long. ;-)
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